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The day the Penis asked for a raise I
Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
- I do physical labour.
- I work at great depths.
- I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
- I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
- I work in a damp environment.
- I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
- I work in high temperatures.
- My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Sincerely,
P. Niss
The Response
Dear P. Niss:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have
raised, the administration rejects your request for the following
reasons:
- You do not work 8 hours straight.
- You fall asleep after brief work periods.
- You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
- You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen
visiting other locations.
- You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and
stimulated in order to start working.
- You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
- You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as
wearing the correct protective clothing.
- You will retire well before you are 65.
- You are unable to work double shifts.
- You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have
completed assigned task.
- And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering
and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
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